My Date :D

Hi all,

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I’ve been really busy. You see, I had that date last Sunday and it went really well, so I’ve been seeing him for almost all of my free time.

His name is Henry, although everyone calls him Harry (but I like to call him Henry since I really don’t get it :S). He’s 19, about 6ft, well built, pretty big beer belly (although give me time and I’ll see if I can make it bigger lol). He’s funny and I think he prefers bigger girls, but I don’t know what he’s going to think of my expanding waistline :P

Our first date was great, we went to the cinema and pizza hut and he didn’t even seem put off by my pigging out. And I did, really pig out. He said he’d never seen anyone eat so much pizza before and, I don’t remember how much I ate since I was so into him, but I know I was saving room for hotdogs and popcorn.

I didn’t sleep with him on the first date as, for starters, it was a midday kind of thing, and we both had prior arrangements, although my pussy felt like it was throbbing, I so badly wanted some action I’d have fucked a traffic cone in the street!

I went home after the film and mum had made a roast dinner. Even though I’d had some snacks in the cinema I was starving and got through 3 plates of roast beef. Mum didn’t want to talk about anything out of the ordinary, which was nice. I left after I’d had a while on the sofa to let the food go down and got back to work the next day.

I met up with him again Wednesday, hornier this time than before, and invited him back to my place, with a bit of a wink. I know, I know, I was being a slapper and I even knew it at the time, but I just really wanted a good fuck. Unfortunately I’d forgotten to tidy up so there was piles of crap all over my flat. Dirty clothes, fast food boxes, burger wrappers, plates, chocolate wrappers and various other rubbish. Luckily he didn’t care, though he probably wondered what I was doing in my room for a couple of minutes, I was clearing stuff off my bed :P lol. We’d been out for dinner too but I was still a little hungry so I had a snickers while I was doing it lol.

We had a few drinks, I gave him a pack of my Budweisers and had 2 big bottles of Smirnoff ice while we chatted. After about an hour it was almost midnight and he said he’d better go soon. I lost all inhibitions and just put my hand on his groin and said something like “don’t go, yet” but I was a bit drunk so I don’t really know exactly what I said or how I said it. The next thing I remember I was very, very satisfied :)

Anyway, I’ve been seeing him for most of my free time, so sorry I haven’t gotten back to anyone who’s emailed me (unless I’ve had time to reply to you after writing this :P).

And sorry my blog has kind of gone off topic, this just isn’t the first thing on my mind at the moment. At one point all I could think about was stuffing my belly but now all I can think about is stuffing my pussy :P lol. Plus work is busy and I’ve got other things I like to do in my free time (like drinking, eating, movies and such).

I got my scales however. I didn’t get the ones I wanted, but these ones go up to 31 stone too. It was exciting as I placed them in my bathroom and got on top of them. They made a squeaking noise :P hehe, then read 18 stone 9 pounds :D So that’s another 10lbs I’ve gained. My newest jeans are snug now and I’m bulging over the edge. Today I’m seeing Henry again but it’s been warm lately and I don’t want to sweat so I’m wearing some jogging bottoms and a tank top to see him. I know he’s into bigger girls but if he doesn’t want me to gain any more then I won’t do it on purpose, so for now I’m just eating when I want rather than to gain weight. However that’s still far too much so I’ll still keep getting fatter :P lol. I won’t loose weight though because I’m really loving the fat. I’ll have to find out how he feels but I don’t want to scare him off right away so not talking to him about it yet lol :P

Right, I’m off for now, I’ll write again when I get time :) love you all, bubi for now, Me x x x X X X X X x x x

Getting weird :S

Hi All,

I brought some jeans a few weeks ago with a little room to spare and put them on yesterday morning only to find that they were too damn tight! They buttoned but they weren't comfy. I figured I'd best go to get breakfast as I was starving and had only eaten cereal and ice cream so headed to maccys. I ate in the restraunt but only half my meal as my waistline was digging in so much that to finish my 2nd breakfast bun I had to go undo my button in the car :P

Still a bit hungry (after all, only 2 meals and a small breakfast, that's so unlike me) I headed to the supermarket and picked up a chicken wrap, coleslaw, 20 diddy donuts, 2 custard donuts, a blueberry muffin and a 2l dr pepper. I ate all that in the car then went to meet Sarah to do a little shopping.

Somewhere around M&S (where by the way nothing they sell fits anymore :P) she noticed that I was slightly bulging over my waistline and said "Didn't we buy those last week?"

"Umm, no, I think it was ages ago." I laughed a bit.

"Are you still trying to put on weight?"

I nodded, "I know you don't understand. I regret telling you."

We both laughed.

"You know you can tell me anything," She said, "but you're right, I don't get it. You're mental. But then, I always knew that!"

I laughed. "I'm hungry, you want something to eat?"

"I knew you were going to say that!" She said, "I swear I'm psychic!"

"No, it's because it's 12 and we always eat at 12."

"Oh yeah."

We laughed again, this time almost leaving the shop with two dresses that she hadn't even noticed she was carrying lol. She tried them on as I waited impatiently. I knew she was going to take ages so I quickly went over to the shop and got a yorkie and a packet of crisps, then got back before she'd even finished getting out of her clothes lol.

We had a burger king, my belly ached by the time I'd finished eating but not nearly as much as my debit card :S If you ask me they've gotten more expensive. Sarah asked if I was eating extra to gain more and I told her that I ate too much anyway (after all, I'd just eaten 2 whoppers with 2 large fries) so I didn't need to. I said I had been but that it was too expensive :P lol.

She said she fancied some donuts and a milkshake and there's this really great shop on the high street that sells special shakes made of chocolate bars and busciuts and stuff :P Sarah offered to pay, especially as I'd spent so much so far on food alone. I had a crunchie one and a jammie dodger one and 12 donuts :P Yummy! She only ate 6 and had a jammie dodger one too.

We hung out for a few more hours then I was heading home when mum asked if I was coming over for dinner. I said I was but stopped in KFC for a zinger wrap and some fries to tide me over while she cooked.

When I arrived my mum looked me up and down. I knew what she was thinking. Dad was upstairs listening to some old records and she sat me down on the sofa.

"We need to talk about this, you've definately gained weight and it's ruining all the hard work you put yourself through to get so slim."

I was a little shocked that she'd be so forward and frank with me. With Sarah being so upfront earlier it was like 'whoa, am I going to meet my feeder later too?!' (actually . . .)

"Mum, I really don't want to talk about it."

"I spoke with your dad, I was thinking of making you pay all the rent now that you can afford it."

"But I can barely afford it! I'd have no money for anything."

"My point is that you find lots of money to go out drinking, drive miles to nowhere and stuff your face all day. If you walked more and didn't eat so much you'd be a lot slimmer."

"I've told you I don't care about my weight. I'm healthy, ok?! You know what I'm like and I don't see why I should be punished just because I've put on a bit of weight because of it." I was getting a little cross.

"I just want you to be happy." She said, looing as though she was sorry to hurt my feelings.

"I am happy, honestly. I'm having the best time of my life at the moment, my job is good, my social life is good, and I know I probably drink a bit too much but I'm not an alcoholic. I just enjoy myself." I sighed. "And as for the weight, I've told you that it's not a problem to me and I don't have any trouble with guys."

She accepted that but I think she still wants to put me on a diet again :S god no! I told dad about the car over dinner (pork chops with veg and mash, yum!) and he said he'd take it to the garage in the week.

Anyway, I went upstairs after a fulfilling 3 portions (I think mum actually ate more than usual just so there wasn't as much left for me, can you believe that? :P) to use the loo and saw the scales there whispering 'Ali, Ali, we've been waiting for you . . .'

I hopped on them, jeans open to make room for all the extra me, belly packed with goodness, and looked down.

Only to realise that I'm actually so fat that I need to lean forward to see the numbers :P lol.

17 stone 13lbs. Just a smidge under 18 stone. I think maybe I'm gaining too quickly but what the hey?! After all, I'm up about 2 1/2 stone in not a very long period of time. I could be 30 stone by Christmas. Although, I think I'd enjoy that. As much as mum might want to kill me :P lol. Not that she can talk, all new wardrobe and she's thinking of ordering a new dining table and chairs. Wonder what that means :P

Anyway, it's Sunday morning. I have a date today, he's Amiee's friend. She tried to set us up before but he was busy. He used to try and ask her out but he was so pathetic at it (and she's such a bitch to men, but it seems to work well) that they never got along. Anyway, he's tall and big, so she says, although she said he's not a great looker. But I'm not a shallow girl, in fact you'd probably say I'm too deep lol. I'm so horny and I've got such a busy week that if he wants to score tonight he's more than welcome. For the first time in my dating career I'm worried about putting him off with my eating (because I want a fuck NOW). I always overeat and get huge portions, I'm worried it'll put him off so I'm going to stuff myself stupid before I go out. I'm meeting him at 1 today and we're going to see what we want to do then. I quite want to see Son of Rambow but we'll see. I don't know how I'm going to go all day without stuffing my face so I intend to ask him about what he looks for in women. If I get even the slightest hint that he's an FA then I'm going to pig out like normal lol.

Anyway, I'm off, I look terrible, greasy hair, spotty skin, belly like a mountain of seal blubber, so I'm going for a shower (oh yeah, I know where to get myself a nice shower seat and scales, going this week). I'll write again soon.

Love, Ali x x x x x

Another Sickie :P

Hi all,

Last Firday (umm, before last) I took another sick day as I still didn't feel 100% and Mandy said it was ok. I stayed in bed most of the morning, everything ached for no apparent reason, so I took that as a sign to rest. I ate like usual, only I made myself a lasanga with lots of veg, and added a satsuma and apple to my KFC lunch. I think I just had a cold without the yuckiness :P lol.

I went for a little drive after lunch to take in some of this lovely early summer when the rain kicked in :P so I filled up at the petrol station. I got to the counter and realised several things. a) fuel is fucking expensive, b) my lunch didn't fill me up, c) my purse was almost as empty as my stomach and d) my belly is so big its crushing the stand of crisps in front of the counter.

I paid £40 and it wasn't even full (the car, not my belly :P), and that was almost all my cash gone. Luckily I had another 200 in the bank so I was still going out, but it drilled in just how expensive my pigging out really is. On top of the 40 I'd spent almost a tenner on snacks while in there and the bag seemed so small :( only got a few chocolate bars and 3 packets of crisps.

As my tummy began to growl I broke my rule about eating while driving, but it was rush hour so there was plenty of waiting around.

Me, Sarah and Amiee went out for a few drinks, Amiee tried to set me up but nothing happened, the next thing I know I'm wasted, £50 is gone and my belly is packed with curry. Saturday was only a little better, with one guy all over me in a nightclub, who was so drunk he went and got lost somewhere and I didn't see him again.

So I'm still fucking gagging for it!

That said, things are looking promising, I have a date on Sunday :D more on that later.

Saturday I did have a good meal at home though, mum made steak pie and mash with veg, I ate sooo much!

Sunday I went over for lunch and had a roast chicken dinner, mum had made 2 for the 3 of us and I think I ate 1 to myself :P hehe. I then went to weigh myself, you ready? 17 stone 2 pounds! A very good gain if I do say so myself. I do think I need to subtract the weight of an obese chicken though, haha! However that was over a week ago now so we'll have to see what I am now ;P

Sunday night I just pigged out like usual, I got so full of choclate that I felt a little sick :S I did however go back to work monday and worked all week.

My problem right now is that I'm pretty skint, and worringly, the car has a grinding noise, don't know what it is but I bet it's going to cost me! So, the gain is still on, but I can't afford to splash out so much of my wages on food. It's sad I know but I have no choice :(

I'm still eating too much and I know I'll have put on more weight, but I've been taking it slowly, just to let my bank balance stay in credit. I was becoming obsessed by overeating. I was back to my old mentality of 'eat until it hurts' rather than 'eat until I'm full', only this time I've been driven purely by my sexual desires rather than filling a void. Ok, maybe a little of it is suddenly being free, being a proper adult (well, almost).

I didn't want to do a blog or reply to emails, I don't buy extra just for the sake of stuffing myself, I just eat what I want. And I'm still powering through about 6000 calories a day lol :P

Well anyway, I got paid last week and I'm planning a 'feeding schedule' lol :P Basically, this is my eating plan for the future. This isn't just to do with my desire to put on weight, this is my timetable to make sure I eat a healthy balanced diet every week. I probably felt ill recently due to my diet, it's unlikely to be a coincidence that I've gotten lethargic and sick as my diet's lacked goodness, only to pick up again when I've cut down on fat and salt and gotten more fruit and veg. So with this I can make sure that I can fulfil my dreams of becoming huge and stay as healthy as possible.

As you know I'm lazy, so if anyone wants to write up a schedule for me they're welcome :P Otherwise I'll have done one by the time I post again.

I'd like to say, to anyone reading this and thinking that I'm deluded by 'feederism' into thinking I can be fat and healthy, that I am not at all deluded either way.

To start with, there are no direct links between obesity itself and the illnesses its supposed to create. It's more likley that the high fat, salt and additive content of the foods which contribute to obesity in the poor are causing health problems. After all, diabetes for one is about sugar production and can be brought on in underweight and 'normal' pepole simply by having a bad diet. It's just unfortunate that obesity is seen by many in the medical community as a scapegoat. Even my gp has put everything down to my weight, including tonsilits (I know!) since I got to about 20 stone last time I gained she practically assumed everything was weight related. Thank god I never got cancer.

However, I accept that being overweight really isn't ideal for the human body and carrying this much excess fat is going to get unhealthy as the years go on. I know that realistically I can expect to face things like high blood pressure, high cholestorol, pressure on joints, polysystic ovaries, breathing difficulties and possibly reduced mobility. I'm prepared to deal with all those things as they come, but I know I'm too young to be thinking about immobility and while I see it as a possible eventuality, I don't want it anytime soon.

I'm also unwavered by the idea that guys only want skinny chicks and that only thin people can be beautiful. I've met so many lovley guys (and in contrast an equal number of tossers) on the net that I know guys like meat on their women. I know some may want thin girls, but I doubt it's the majority. Most decent guys aren't fussy either way, but many prefer women to be big. Either just girls with a few extra pounds and a bit of a belly to women who need two seats on an airplane and can't visit the top floor of old buildings. Everyone has their own idea of what's beautiful, and it's a shame that people will always dig at other people's preferences. I'm open minded to people's ideas of what's beautiful and sexy, even if I can't see it. Recently online I met someone who takes immense sexual pleasure in the fact that his anus has prolapsed from the various things it's had up it over the years. Needless to say our conversation was short, but I can accept that it makes him happy, I shouldn't be knocking it.

My own ideal guy would be the type most girls wouldn't go for, but it doesn't mean only I want him. In case you're interested, Mr Right has long hair, dresses casual even for something fancy, has a big round beer belly, loves me even when I'm a bitch and wants me to get fatter, but will also give me help and support when problems occur. He should also have a creative skill of some kind, musical, literal, intellectual, or just being the greatest lover of all time ;) One other thing, he should also be able to drink alongside me and still get me home when I'm paraletic. Sarah manages it without having to lift me so theoretically that shouldn't be a problem.

Anyway, I'm droning on and on, sorry. Like a couple of weeks ago, I'm off ill. I don't know what it is, after a week at work I seem to deteriorate :P not that my job is hard mind you. I began writing this blog ages ago, that's why it kinda begins where the last entry left off, but I've only now had time to finish it. Hope you're all still enjoying this rantathon.

Bubi for now, hugs and calorific kisses, Ali x x x x x