Hi all,
So Christmas was good, a little different this year, and
not a lot has changed since my last post but I may as well go through the good
and bad of the past 6 months or whatever it has been.
What was great was that right after my last post I had a
friend from up country come to visit me for the first time in years. I haven’t
seen Jess in almost a decade and in fact the last time I did I wrote about it
on here. Its been such a long time that we have both changed a lot. She has
been married and divorced in that time, worked for several different companies
and now has a job as a personnel manager and makes more in a year than I have
probably ever earned in the jobs I’ve had put together! She hasn’t had kids yet
thank god because I don’t think I could have handled little ones running around
at my feet, but she intends to before she is 30. She still looks the same and
unlike me is the same dress size she was 10 years ago. She was as polite as
possible but I could tell she was shocked at the state of me. Probably of the
state of the house too.
Obviously I didn’t go out to meet her, I had explained to
her my troubles over the years in emails and facebook so she knew I was
housebound. It was only because we got the house now that I had space for her
to stay. Vicky tidied up, I’m not really capable of getting rubbish off the
floor, but I helped in the little ways I could. I had got into my nicest
clothes, albeit huge leggings and a blue tshirt, sprayed myself liberally with
deodorant and tried my best not to make a mess of the living room. We were
mostly living off takeaways at that point and it was still summer so the smell
probably wasn’t amazing but Vicky had cleared most of the mess up and even
hoovered a little. Vicky let her in and she left her suitcase in the hall and
came to give me a hug. She didn’t mention my size once but like I said I could
see in her face she was shocked. I was and still am pretty fucking massive.
We chatted for hours and I couldn’t help myself but
nibble on snacks. She didn’t eat and I felt bad but got incredibly hungry. She
wondered if we could go out for a meal but she didn’t push for it when I said I
didn’t feel able to go out, so we ended up having takeaway. And getting a bit
drunk haha ;) She got on with Vicky really well too.
She stayed two nights and a day, but I think she got
bored. Apart from chat, eat and watch TV we didn’t have much to do. Vicky was
going to take her shopping but it rained and neither of them felt like it then
so in the end she just went home, but she seemed happy to have stayed.
A while after that something bad happened. It was all my
fault but I got lazier and lazier and we kept eating the junk food so I got to
a stage again where I was in bed not moving at all. I kept getting up for the
toilet until after a few weeks I had to give up and we went back to nappy pads
for a while. Then the bad thing happened, I got an infection in my thigh. It
was probably mostly a pressure sore but I spent about a month in bed without
washing so chances are that had something to do with it.
I got pretty sick pretty fast and wound up in hospital
for a few days again. It wasn’t a military operation again, I fit out the door
and was even able to walk when I was pushed to it, but I felt like hell the
whole time. My leg was fine in the end but I had to stay there for over a week
and didn’t get any fast food, which as you know for me is pretty painful. I was
47 ½ stone when I got to hospital and 45 when they sent me home. Vicky got a
telling off from my mum for enabling me, but truth be told without pressure
from living with family she’s getting as bad as me. She is a lot fitter than I
was at her size but she’s getting worse.
So as soon as I was home we had plans for keeping my
weight down and keeping us both off the junk food but it never happened. Vicky
is staying fit(er) by looking after me. She gives me a bed bath once a day and
treats any sores I get before they become an issue. It was either that or we
had to hire nurses and I don’t want them in every day to look after me. We have
both kept eating loads but so far I’ve not had any more issues and Vicky has
gone up a size since then but is still looking and feeling the same. I got her
to weigh herself and she was 40 stone 5 just before Christmas.
Christmas was brilliant, I got a lot of cool stuff and
I’m now absorbed by fallout 4. This has been eating into my nap time the past
week, so probably going to have to play less of it! I have mostly just eaten,
napped and watched TV for the past year, but getting back into gaming is
messing up my routine a bit. Not stopping me from eating though, I’m still
ballooning. Christmas dinner was a bit of a nightmare, Vicky cooked us a turkey
and potatoes like normal then we just got frozen Yorkshire puddings and gravy
and basically filled up on that. Neither of us wanted to go to the effort of
making veg. After that she treated me to two family sized xmas puddings with
over a litre of double cream and a trifle. I also ate about a dozen mince pies
before I went into a food coma.
I will admit that we haven’t tried hard, but I haven’t
been able to stand for a while now. And I’ve gained. A lot. So its probably not
possible if I’m honest. We reckon I’m about 50-55 stone again but I’m not
getting up to find out. I’ll probably be rushed to hospital soon for one stupid
reason or another anyway, so I’ll find out then.
So a day in my life right now is pretty good. This
morning I woke up around 10. First of all I have my mini fridge so I can take
off my mask and help myself to milkshake or pepsi or whatever I need. I usually
wake up terribly thirsty, in fact I wake up a few times a night to drink.
Thankfully I can wee whenever I need to because I’m back on the pads. Then I
call to Vicky, who is usually up, but if she isn’t I need to wait. This morning
Vicky got me a fried breakfast, 8 sausages, 12 rashers of bacon, fried
mushrooms, baked beans, fried bread and scrambled eggs. Then I had 6 crumpets
and 4 pan au chocolates. I brush my teeth and put my mask back on for a while
and she does a bed bath and changes my pad. With the adjustable bed its
actually not too much effort but its still not easy. She’s getting very unfit,
she has to sit down while I do under my arms and the parts of myself I can
reach. I have to roll to the sides using the harness so she can clean my
backside and inside the rolls. Then I’m done moving for the day and I have a
nap. Today I only napped for about an hour before I woke up hungry. Vicky was
watching TV and didn’t want to cook so we ordered a pizza from a local place, I
got 3 because they aren’t very big and 4 portions of fries. When I ate all that
I had 15 chocolate filled donuts and a chocolate trifle. This is usually a good
time to take some of my assortment of pills, Vicky tends to deal with what and
lays it in front of me, I just take whatever she thinks I’m supposed to. She
knows what she is doing anyway. Then I had another nap, again with my mask
because its not worth the risk of not having it on. I woke up and played
fallout for a few hours while eating chicken nuggets and chips that Vicky made
for me, then it was dinner time and she ordered in again. We had burgers from a
kebab shop and I ate 6 half pounders and 4 portions of fries. I was gaming so
it took a while and they went cold but I still didn’t care, I was pretty
hungry. Then I was eating Pringles and the last of the xmas chocs most of the
night until I started to get really hungry again. Thankfully for me so was
Vicky and she decided on Dominos, from which I’m still exhausted, I ate 2 large
pizzas, chicken strips, wedges and mozzarella and 2 tubs of ben and jerrys. My
belly has felt massive all night and I can barely breathe without the mask on.
I took my evening pills a little while ago and Vicky has gone to bed already.
I haven’t been able to get that ‘orgasmicly full’ feeling
back yet but I’m still hopeful. Also thinking of allowing a feeder into my
life, yes it might kill me but at the way things are going I could be dead any
day and I’d like to be fucked again before that happens! Anyway those thoughts
are just frustrating me.
I’m going to try and get to sleep. Lots of love and a
happy new year! Ali xxXXxx
