Hi all,
I’ve had a great weekend. Saturday I went for a walk on the moors. The weather was nice and I got really, really hot and sweaty. I wore tracksuit bottoms and a green tank top (which is a little too small and showed a little of my belly off). It felt great to have some fresh air and exercise, I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve had a nice walk. We didn’t go far before I had to sit down on a log and catch my breath. Since I knew I’d be walking I had a fried breakfast, toast, cereal, 2 bananas and a 750g yogurt drink before leaving the house but I also really fancied a sausage and egg mcmuffin so we stopped for 2 of those (both for me lol). Of course I had 2 hash browns and a hot chocolate too. It didn’t take much walking before I’d worked up a massive appetite though and we drove to the nearest pub for something to eat and drink. It was about 1.30 and I usually don’t go more than an hour without food so my stomach was growling. I asked for the biggest burger they had because I couldn’t be bothered with the menu and what I got had 2 big burgers, bacon and a fried egg in it, with lots of chips on the side. I was impressed to be honest. I drank 2 pints but Henry was driving. He only had chips and salad. I’d coaxed him into eating a lot in the morning so I doubt he was hungry at all lol.
We went to the beach after that just for a stroll and I got a Feast from the ice cream shack. It’s been ages since I’ve had one, it was so good I had another one on the way back ;P hehe.
One thing I noticed while I was walking was how slow I’ve gotten. My thighs seem to roll over eachother and my belly bounces slightly against them. I pant as though I’m running as I waddle and it’s a real chore. I did enjoy getting some blood pumping though. My heart felt like it was going a mile a minute, I could feel it thumping in my chest. I sometimes worry about my heart, that’s why I’m looking forward to getting my exercise bike this week, it should help shift some cholesterol. I don’t even want to think what my arteries must be like.
That evening we went out for drinks and I got hammered. I remember shouting and laughing in the kebab shop to Amiee that I was allowed to order double this time because I’d done some exercise this weekend. It was supposed to sound ironic but I just came off sounding stupid and having a couple of guys stare at me like I’m loopy. I made myself sick at home because I ordered 2 kebabs, 2 cheeseburgers, 2 wraps, a small box of chicken and 2 fries. Not too much on its own but I’d drank about 8 pints and my stomach wasn’t in the mood. I was mostly sick in the toilet but got a bit on the bathroom floor which I had to clear up with a hangover in the morning. Henry was a bit annoyed because back at breakfast I’d promised him lots of sex (of course I wasn’t planning on getting drunk at the time). I remember giving him a drunken blow job and him complaining in the morning that I’d bitten him a few times lol.
Sunday we stayed in most of the day. I ate nearly everything in the flat though so Henry went to the shop for me at about 2. He came back with some deliciously fattening treats for me and for dinner I ate 4 of those small Chicago town pizzas, half a bag of oven chips, 10 jam donuts, 4 double chocolate muffins, 4 éclairs, 4 cream cakes, a Mississippi mud pie, half a cheesecake, 2 strawberry cornettos, a big bar of galaxy chocolate and a big bottle of cream soda. It felt so good to just sit on the sofa and gorge without lifting a finger, I loved it. It turned me on feeling the swelling pressure in my stomach as he rubbed his hand up and down over me belly covered by the t-shirt that’s now too small for me.
He cooked a pasta bake dinner for me that night, I had a whole baking dish and a little salad on the side and I took about an hour and a half to finish it. I felt like I was literally going to burst and he brought in a tub of chunky monkey ice cream for me. I carried on eating nearly the whole night, getting through most (but not all) of a 1200g chocolate gateaux, 4 cans of fosters, 2 meals from the Indian takeaway and a pack of 6 chocolate dessert pots (just the little ones). I only got up a couple of times for the toilet, apart from that I just spread out over 2 sofa seats and vegetated. I remember looking down at my huge belly, sweating and struggling for breath and thinking ‘this is the fucking life’.
Monday was a bank holiday so the weight watchers wasn’t at the usual meeting place, mum was invited over to one of the women’s house and she dragged me along with her. I’d had lots for breakfast again, this time the 8th made me pancakes and I lost count, so I was feeling even more sluggish and tired as we walked up the steps to her house. It was massive, like a fucking mansion. I wish it’d just been small then I wouldn’t have had to walk so far. The woman who’s house it was wasn’t very fat, probably only about 13 stone but short. I saw her son though, he was huge, I’m surprised she wasn’t making him join, he just walked through to get something from the kitchen.
There was only 3 other women, all about my mum’s age and I just felt awkward and a embaressed that I was the biggest one but the youngest there. They all had folders and mum got one for me (she’s paid for a membership without asking if I definitely want it, but it’s her money wasted so it’s her problem). I have a little journal I can write my food in too and a guide to tell me the ‘points’. It’s so gay. I’ll just make out I’ve eaten salad and fish and hope I don’t get weighed lol. Embarrassingly my mum had already said about my weight loss and how I’d put it all back on plus lots more so fast and one of them was telling me how weight watchers doesn’t make you do that because it changes your lifestyle, ‘it’s not a diet’ was something she kept saying which I found really annoying because that’s exactly what it is! She asked what I ate and I lied, so my mum interjected and told them what I’m really like. The kinds of food packaging she used to find in my room, the way I always eat loads at mealtimes, the way that one takeaway is never enough for me and I order 2 or 3 meals.
She asked what I weighed and I said I wasn’t sure, but I guessed about 30 stone. She said there’s a scale that’ll weigh me at the proper meeting so I guess I’ll be finding out soon. I felt all venerable and exposed even though they were really nice. I’m not sure I want to go back, there’s a proper meeting on Monday I will see how I feel. I’m curious to see how much I weigh though. Maybe I’ll freak them out by putting on loads each week ;D haha.
That damn bike isn’t here yet, I’m expecting it soon though. Perhaps today. I think I will be able to do a few minutes a day on it, I just need something to help make my legs and lungs stronger. It’s lucky I don’t smoke or I’d probably be unable to walk at all by now. I have a tiny bit of exercise to do today, I need to clean and tidy the flat and it’s pretty messy, then I think I will go back home for a bath and a chat with mum because I’m bored. The bath there is a little bigger than most, not huge, but it’s more comfortable to sit in. Mum will probably cook something nice and healthy. If it doesn’t fill me up I’ll just get a takeout on the way home lol ;)
Henry didn’t stay here because he had to get to work early to catch up on things so I’ve had a good night’s sleep but I woke up early and hungry so I’m on my 2nd bowl of cocopops. Plenty more where that came from hehe.
I’m off, I’ll write again next time I’m bored enough. Love, Ali x x x x x x x
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Nice long post, hope you enjoy . . .
Hi all,
Sorry it’s been so long since I last posted, I haven’t felt well and went off the whole feederism thing again, sorry. I’m alright now though.
I don’t know what I weigh because I got on my scales and they went 000 . . . ERR and now they refuse to weigh me. I was going to put them away but I remembered that The 8th needs them lol.
It’s been ages so I’ll start with the Easter weekend before I forget everything. I only got 3 eggs because my mum chats with most of the family on the phone so even though I haven’t seen them, they probably all know that I’ve been putting on too much weight. I think she told them not to buy me so many this year. Either that or it’s just because I’m not a kid anymore lol. My mum got me a small smarties one, Sarah gave me a snickers one and my aunty got all her nieces and nephews a huge one each, so I had a 9.99 one to make up for it. I was like 2ft tall lol. We all showed up around 11 on the Saturday and we were staying the night so that the adults could sleep. The last time I’d stayed in a sleeping bag but this time I got the sofa bed being as how I’m twice the woman I was then :P
I’m the eldest of my cousins, there are 2 boys and 3 girls, and just like me, they’re fat :P I don’t believe in the whole obesity runs in the genes excuse, it runs in the family though, through bad eating habits and lots of chocolate. The youngest is Jess 8, then Tim 10 and then his brother Jack 12, then it’s Kate 15 and sister Vicky 18. Kate seems to be the only one apart from me to ever loose any weight. She said she was 22 stone last year and her doctor explained all the usual bullshit to her mum and dad who went a little nuts and put her on a diet. Her school had been excusing her from P.E. until her mum complained and they now do a separate lighter session of warm ups for the whole group, including the sick-notes and fatties, which she can’t get away from. She says she’s lost 2 stone.
Vicky never told me her weight and I never overheard it but my best guess would be somewhere in the region of 25 stone. I know she’s never dieted and last time I saw her a couple of years ago she couldn’t have been much more than 18 stone. I watched her eat over the weekend, curious as to how she’d gotten so big, and she ate almost as much as me.
Dinner started around 4 and she had a long table made up of 2 big dining tables to accommodate us all. I had a small chair but didn’t want to say anything until my uncle whispered in my ear that there was another one like it in the garage that I was welcome to use so he fetched it for me. First time I’ve taken up two seats at a family meal lol.
The meal was massive. My aunt is the only person I know to have 2, count them, 2 ovens! The house used to be a b&b with 6 rooms and the kitchen is quite big. She’d made 2 chickens and a big joint of beef, loads of veg, potatoes, cauliflower cheese, parsnips, pigs-in-blankets, stuffing, bread sauce, the works. I was chatting a lot, I got through about a bottle of red wine and we all laughed and had a good time, so I forgot how much I ate, but it was enough to make me open my skirt and sigh. I recall having a slight pain in my belly when I leaned in for more so I must have been pretty damn full.
I saw the younger kids struggling to breathe as they tried to demolish adult portions of everything, the poor things are being fattened like pigs for slaughter. It’s kind of sick that they’ll end up like me yet it won’t be their fault. Not that I said anything like that. Kate was ordered to ditch the diet for the night and ate loads, even drinking some wine. But Vicky really went overboard. I watched her eat, all the while I could see in her face that she was struggling to get it down but there was so much and it was soooo good, I knew the feeling. I stopped eating to rest for dessert as with my aunt, there’s always a lot of dessert, but she was still shovelling it in right up until my uncles started clearing the dishes. I saw her take a sip of wine as she rubbed her belly, her eyes looked glazed and tired and she groaned and said ‘that was sooo good. I can’t eat another thing!’, just as my aunt brought in the trifle. After that there was a large chocolate cake with cream and a syrup sponge with custard. The look on her face was priceless.
The 8th was there of course, sat next to me. I kept glancing over at him, looking down at his bulging stomach. It’s soooo damn sexy I love it. I kept putting more food onto his plate every time it started looking like he was close to finishing. I’d told him before we arrived that if he ate everything I gave him then he was in for a treat. He didn’t complain he just kept going and going. Dessert was hardest for him I think because it was all so easy down the throat that it made me feel like it was going to come back up, and I bet he felt the same. He was a good boy though and ate everything he was told to lol. I tried to feel down his jeans a little at one point (no-one saw don’t worry) and they were so tight I couldn’t get even the tips of my fingers in :D
I got a little drunk and we whiled away the night chatting and playing with the Wii. I couldn’t move for a couple of hours after dinner though, but I wasn’t the only one. There were snacks and leftovers throughout the night until around 10 when we all getting hungry and we ordered takeaways. I had a chicken chow mien, sweet and sour pork and rice from the Chinese place and a large Hawaiian pizza from the pizza place. I made Henry eat the same except he had kung po chicken.
I don’t remember what time we got to sleep but we were woken at about 10 to the smell of cooked breakfasts. I think my aunt is obsessed with cooking. The kids were already on cereal as the adults waddled down the stairs and told my aunt what they wanted. I ordered loads for myself and Henry, but he had a stomach ache so I told him he didn’t have to finish. He just waited a while then finished his plate lol.
We got dressed and left. I popped the button on my skirt as we got into the car. He drove since I felt sleepy and dozed off in the passenger seat. He woke me up at McDonald’s. I asked him why and he said that no matter how much I’ve had to eat I never say no to one and that if I wanted his waistline to keep growing he was going to need a few big macs. I laughed and said ‘bet you can’t eat 5’ and he said ‘you’re on’. We got takeaways, I ate some of mine in the car but he was driving so we got back to my flat and sat on the sofa. My belly and stretch marks were on show to the neighbours as we went up the stairs, but I don’t think I was seen lol.
I un-buttoned his jeans and pulled them down. They were so tight they dug in and made deep red lines under his bulging gut. I rubbed his penis as he started on the first one and he got an erection. I put my mouth around it, sucking and playing with it with my tongue. I took a few breaks to eat my meals and drink some milkshake but kept him hard the whole time. I even poured some whipped cream around it to suck off. We went through the whole can lol ;) When he came I swallowed, then helped him finish by hand feeding him. I was so turned on by the size of his belly and how much he’d just eaten then I fingered myself as we sat on the sofa. It occurred to me that I now have to move a hell of a lot of belly to one side to reach my pussy lol.
I got him on the scales again last weekend and he was 25 stone 12, a very big improvement. His waist is now 57 inches, but having said that I’d just made him eat a pizza so maybe he was bloated too lol.
I went for a pub meal with Sarah last week and we drank a little too much. I explained to her that to me being fat is also liberating. It’s refusing to conform to society’s control and the freedom to eat as much as you want whenever you want. I made her toast to it by ordering a massive portion of fish and chips and a huge ice cream sundae lol. As she struggled to eat it all she asked how I find it so easy to eat so much and I just laughed and told her that I deliberately try to eat as much as possible so I’ve gotten used to it. We’re pretty open with each other so I’ve told her my sexual desires before sober, let alone drunk. I tucked my tracksuit bottoms under my belly and exposed a huge roll of flesh as I ordered a second sundae, for some alcohol fuelled reason proud of my huge body and wanting to flaunt it.
I was going to wear the skirt I wore to Easter dinner today but I can’t get it closed :S I sewed the button back on but now it won’t go together. I’ll have to wear the stinky sweat-pants again. I’m going shopping later. I quit my job but Henry is treating me since he got something from work, holiday pay or something like that I wasn’t listening lol. My mum hasn’t flipped. She said she’s disappointed but that she won’t bother with what she did 2 years ago because a) I’ve rebounded badly and b) it made me unhappy. Dad’s going to keep paying for the flat and giving me £50 a week to live on. I don’t know whether I can get job seekers, but I’m looking into what I’m entitled to. Maybe I get disability because of my size, I don’t know. I know, benefit slut. Mum coaxed me into going to a weight watchers meeting though, so I have that to look forward to. At least I will get a weigh in and I’ll be able to see if I’m still gaining. It might be fun to go back every week and have them tick me off for gaining another few pounds lol.
Anyway, walking is getting hard and getting up from the floor or low seats in a major challenge so, as much as I hate it, I’m going to get some mild exercise. My back is killing me and without work I’m becoming more and more vegetated, which combined with my disgustingly fattening diet is a bad combination. I’m going for a walk on the moors with the 8th this weekend, we’ll see how far I get. I’m also trying to get as much of my stuffings as possible from fruit and veg, though I tried that before and it didn’t last :S Still, worth a shot. I’m out of breath from trying to get dressed so I don’t know how I’ll manage. Dad offered to buy me an exercise bike too, which I’ve accepted. It arrives next week and Henry will put it together for me. I bet it just collects dust lol.
Got to go, breakfast awaits.
Love to all, Ali x x x X X X x x x
Sorry it’s been so long since I last posted, I haven’t felt well and went off the whole feederism thing again, sorry. I’m alright now though.
I don’t know what I weigh because I got on my scales and they went 000 . . . ERR and now they refuse to weigh me. I was going to put them away but I remembered that The 8th needs them lol.
It’s been ages so I’ll start with the Easter weekend before I forget everything. I only got 3 eggs because my mum chats with most of the family on the phone so even though I haven’t seen them, they probably all know that I’ve been putting on too much weight. I think she told them not to buy me so many this year. Either that or it’s just because I’m not a kid anymore lol. My mum got me a small smarties one, Sarah gave me a snickers one and my aunty got all her nieces and nephews a huge one each, so I had a 9.99 one to make up for it. I was like 2ft tall lol. We all showed up around 11 on the Saturday and we were staying the night so that the adults could sleep. The last time I’d stayed in a sleeping bag but this time I got the sofa bed being as how I’m twice the woman I was then :P
I’m the eldest of my cousins, there are 2 boys and 3 girls, and just like me, they’re fat :P I don’t believe in the whole obesity runs in the genes excuse, it runs in the family though, through bad eating habits and lots of chocolate. The youngest is Jess 8, then Tim 10 and then his brother Jack 12, then it’s Kate 15 and sister Vicky 18. Kate seems to be the only one apart from me to ever loose any weight. She said she was 22 stone last year and her doctor explained all the usual bullshit to her mum and dad who went a little nuts and put her on a diet. Her school had been excusing her from P.E. until her mum complained and they now do a separate lighter session of warm ups for the whole group, including the sick-notes and fatties, which she can’t get away from. She says she’s lost 2 stone.
Vicky never told me her weight and I never overheard it but my best guess would be somewhere in the region of 25 stone. I know she’s never dieted and last time I saw her a couple of years ago she couldn’t have been much more than 18 stone. I watched her eat over the weekend, curious as to how she’d gotten so big, and she ate almost as much as me.
Dinner started around 4 and she had a long table made up of 2 big dining tables to accommodate us all. I had a small chair but didn’t want to say anything until my uncle whispered in my ear that there was another one like it in the garage that I was welcome to use so he fetched it for me. First time I’ve taken up two seats at a family meal lol.
The meal was massive. My aunt is the only person I know to have 2, count them, 2 ovens! The house used to be a b&b with 6 rooms and the kitchen is quite big. She’d made 2 chickens and a big joint of beef, loads of veg, potatoes, cauliflower cheese, parsnips, pigs-in-blankets, stuffing, bread sauce, the works. I was chatting a lot, I got through about a bottle of red wine and we all laughed and had a good time, so I forgot how much I ate, but it was enough to make me open my skirt and sigh. I recall having a slight pain in my belly when I leaned in for more so I must have been pretty damn full.
I saw the younger kids struggling to breathe as they tried to demolish adult portions of everything, the poor things are being fattened like pigs for slaughter. It’s kind of sick that they’ll end up like me yet it won’t be their fault. Not that I said anything like that. Kate was ordered to ditch the diet for the night and ate loads, even drinking some wine. But Vicky really went overboard. I watched her eat, all the while I could see in her face that she was struggling to get it down but there was so much and it was soooo good, I knew the feeling. I stopped eating to rest for dessert as with my aunt, there’s always a lot of dessert, but she was still shovelling it in right up until my uncles started clearing the dishes. I saw her take a sip of wine as she rubbed her belly, her eyes looked glazed and tired and she groaned and said ‘that was sooo good. I can’t eat another thing!’, just as my aunt brought in the trifle. After that there was a large chocolate cake with cream and a syrup sponge with custard. The look on her face was priceless.
The 8th was there of course, sat next to me. I kept glancing over at him, looking down at his bulging stomach. It’s soooo damn sexy I love it. I kept putting more food onto his plate every time it started looking like he was close to finishing. I’d told him before we arrived that if he ate everything I gave him then he was in for a treat. He didn’t complain he just kept going and going. Dessert was hardest for him I think because it was all so easy down the throat that it made me feel like it was going to come back up, and I bet he felt the same. He was a good boy though and ate everything he was told to lol. I tried to feel down his jeans a little at one point (no-one saw don’t worry) and they were so tight I couldn’t get even the tips of my fingers in :D
I got a little drunk and we whiled away the night chatting and playing with the Wii. I couldn’t move for a couple of hours after dinner though, but I wasn’t the only one. There were snacks and leftovers throughout the night until around 10 when we all getting hungry and we ordered takeaways. I had a chicken chow mien, sweet and sour pork and rice from the Chinese place and a large Hawaiian pizza from the pizza place. I made Henry eat the same except he had kung po chicken.
I don’t remember what time we got to sleep but we were woken at about 10 to the smell of cooked breakfasts. I think my aunt is obsessed with cooking. The kids were already on cereal as the adults waddled down the stairs and told my aunt what they wanted. I ordered loads for myself and Henry, but he had a stomach ache so I told him he didn’t have to finish. He just waited a while then finished his plate lol.
We got dressed and left. I popped the button on my skirt as we got into the car. He drove since I felt sleepy and dozed off in the passenger seat. He woke me up at McDonald’s. I asked him why and he said that no matter how much I’ve had to eat I never say no to one and that if I wanted his waistline to keep growing he was going to need a few big macs. I laughed and said ‘bet you can’t eat 5’ and he said ‘you’re on’. We got takeaways, I ate some of mine in the car but he was driving so we got back to my flat and sat on the sofa. My belly and stretch marks were on show to the neighbours as we went up the stairs, but I don’t think I was seen lol.
I un-buttoned his jeans and pulled them down. They were so tight they dug in and made deep red lines under his bulging gut. I rubbed his penis as he started on the first one and he got an erection. I put my mouth around it, sucking and playing with it with my tongue. I took a few breaks to eat my meals and drink some milkshake but kept him hard the whole time. I even poured some whipped cream around it to suck off. We went through the whole can lol ;) When he came I swallowed, then helped him finish by hand feeding him. I was so turned on by the size of his belly and how much he’d just eaten then I fingered myself as we sat on the sofa. It occurred to me that I now have to move a hell of a lot of belly to one side to reach my pussy lol.
I got him on the scales again last weekend and he was 25 stone 12, a very big improvement. His waist is now 57 inches, but having said that I’d just made him eat a pizza so maybe he was bloated too lol.
I went for a pub meal with Sarah last week and we drank a little too much. I explained to her that to me being fat is also liberating. It’s refusing to conform to society’s control and the freedom to eat as much as you want whenever you want. I made her toast to it by ordering a massive portion of fish and chips and a huge ice cream sundae lol. As she struggled to eat it all she asked how I find it so easy to eat so much and I just laughed and told her that I deliberately try to eat as much as possible so I’ve gotten used to it. We’re pretty open with each other so I’ve told her my sexual desires before sober, let alone drunk. I tucked my tracksuit bottoms under my belly and exposed a huge roll of flesh as I ordered a second sundae, for some alcohol fuelled reason proud of my huge body and wanting to flaunt it.
I was going to wear the skirt I wore to Easter dinner today but I can’t get it closed :S I sewed the button back on but now it won’t go together. I’ll have to wear the stinky sweat-pants again. I’m going shopping later. I quit my job but Henry is treating me since he got something from work, holiday pay or something like that I wasn’t listening lol. My mum hasn’t flipped. She said she’s disappointed but that she won’t bother with what she did 2 years ago because a) I’ve rebounded badly and b) it made me unhappy. Dad’s going to keep paying for the flat and giving me £50 a week to live on. I don’t know whether I can get job seekers, but I’m looking into what I’m entitled to. Maybe I get disability because of my size, I don’t know. I know, benefit slut. Mum coaxed me into going to a weight watchers meeting though, so I have that to look forward to. At least I will get a weigh in and I’ll be able to see if I’m still gaining. It might be fun to go back every week and have them tick me off for gaining another few pounds lol.
Anyway, walking is getting hard and getting up from the floor or low seats in a major challenge so, as much as I hate it, I’m going to get some mild exercise. My back is killing me and without work I’m becoming more and more vegetated, which combined with my disgustingly fattening diet is a bad combination. I’m going for a walk on the moors with the 8th this weekend, we’ll see how far I get. I’m also trying to get as much of my stuffings as possible from fruit and veg, though I tried that before and it didn’t last :S Still, worth a shot. I’m out of breath from trying to get dressed so I don’t know how I’ll manage. Dad offered to buy me an exercise bike too, which I’ve accepted. It arrives next week and Henry will put it together for me. I bet it just collects dust lol.
Got to go, breakfast awaits.
Love to all, Ali x x x X X X x x x
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