Getting weird :S

Hi All,

I brought some jeans a few weeks ago with a little room to spare and put them on yesterday morning only to find that they were too damn tight! They buttoned but they weren't comfy. I figured I'd best go to get breakfast as I was starving and had only eaten cereal and ice cream so headed to maccys. I ate in the restraunt but only half my meal as my waistline was digging in so much that to finish my 2nd breakfast bun I had to go undo my button in the car :P

Still a bit hungry (after all, only 2 meals and a small breakfast, that's so unlike me) I headed to the supermarket and picked up a chicken wrap, coleslaw, 20 diddy donuts, 2 custard donuts, a blueberry muffin and a 2l dr pepper. I ate all that in the car then went to meet Sarah to do a little shopping.

Somewhere around M&S (where by the way nothing they sell fits anymore :P) she noticed that I was slightly bulging over my waistline and said "Didn't we buy those last week?"

"Umm, no, I think it was ages ago." I laughed a bit.

"Are you still trying to put on weight?"

I nodded, "I know you don't understand. I regret telling you."

We both laughed.

"You know you can tell me anything," She said, "but you're right, I don't get it. You're mental. But then, I always knew that!"

I laughed. "I'm hungry, you want something to eat?"

"I knew you were going to say that!" She said, "I swear I'm psychic!"

"No, it's because it's 12 and we always eat at 12."

"Oh yeah."

We laughed again, this time almost leaving the shop with two dresses that she hadn't even noticed she was carrying lol. She tried them on as I waited impatiently. I knew she was going to take ages so I quickly went over to the shop and got a yorkie and a packet of crisps, then got back before she'd even finished getting out of her clothes lol.

We had a burger king, my belly ached by the time I'd finished eating but not nearly as much as my debit card :S If you ask me they've gotten more expensive. Sarah asked if I was eating extra to gain more and I told her that I ate too much anyway (after all, I'd just eaten 2 whoppers with 2 large fries) so I didn't need to. I said I had been but that it was too expensive :P lol.

She said she fancied some donuts and a milkshake and there's this really great shop on the high street that sells special shakes made of chocolate bars and busciuts and stuff :P Sarah offered to pay, especially as I'd spent so much so far on food alone. I had a crunchie one and a jammie dodger one and 12 donuts :P Yummy! She only ate 6 and had a jammie dodger one too.

We hung out for a few more hours then I was heading home when mum asked if I was coming over for dinner. I said I was but stopped in KFC for a zinger wrap and some fries to tide me over while she cooked.

When I arrived my mum looked me up and down. I knew what she was thinking. Dad was upstairs listening to some old records and she sat me down on the sofa.

"We need to talk about this, you've definately gained weight and it's ruining all the hard work you put yourself through to get so slim."

I was a little shocked that she'd be so forward and frank with me. With Sarah being so upfront earlier it was like 'whoa, am I going to meet my feeder later too?!' (actually . . .)

"Mum, I really don't want to talk about it."

"I spoke with your dad, I was thinking of making you pay all the rent now that you can afford it."

"But I can barely afford it! I'd have no money for anything."

"My point is that you find lots of money to go out drinking, drive miles to nowhere and stuff your face all day. If you walked more and didn't eat so much you'd be a lot slimmer."

"I've told you I don't care about my weight. I'm healthy, ok?! You know what I'm like and I don't see why I should be punished just because I've put on a bit of weight because of it." I was getting a little cross.

"I just want you to be happy." She said, looing as though she was sorry to hurt my feelings.

"I am happy, honestly. I'm having the best time of my life at the moment, my job is good, my social life is good, and I know I probably drink a bit too much but I'm not an alcoholic. I just enjoy myself." I sighed. "And as for the weight, I've told you that it's not a problem to me and I don't have any trouble with guys."

She accepted that but I think she still wants to put me on a diet again :S god no! I told dad about the car over dinner (pork chops with veg and mash, yum!) and he said he'd take it to the garage in the week.

Anyway, I went upstairs after a fulfilling 3 portions (I think mum actually ate more than usual just so there wasn't as much left for me, can you believe that? :P) to use the loo and saw the scales there whispering 'Ali, Ali, we've been waiting for you . . .'

I hopped on them, jeans open to make room for all the extra me, belly packed with goodness, and looked down.

Only to realise that I'm actually so fat that I need to lean forward to see the numbers :P lol.

17 stone 13lbs. Just a smidge under 18 stone. I think maybe I'm gaining too quickly but what the hey?! After all, I'm up about 2 1/2 stone in not a very long period of time. I could be 30 stone by Christmas. Although, I think I'd enjoy that. As much as mum might want to kill me :P lol. Not that she can talk, all new wardrobe and she's thinking of ordering a new dining table and chairs. Wonder what that means :P

Anyway, it's Sunday morning. I have a date today, he's Amiee's friend. She tried to set us up before but he was busy. He used to try and ask her out but he was so pathetic at it (and she's such a bitch to men, but it seems to work well) that they never got along. Anyway, he's tall and big, so she says, although she said he's not a great looker. But I'm not a shallow girl, in fact you'd probably say I'm too deep lol. I'm so horny and I've got such a busy week that if he wants to score tonight he's more than welcome. For the first time in my dating career I'm worried about putting him off with my eating (because I want a fuck NOW). I always overeat and get huge portions, I'm worried it'll put him off so I'm going to stuff myself stupid before I go out. I'm meeting him at 1 today and we're going to see what we want to do then. I quite want to see Son of Rambow but we'll see. I don't know how I'm going to go all day without stuffing my face so I intend to ask him about what he looks for in women. If I get even the slightest hint that he's an FA then I'm going to pig out like normal lol.

Anyway, I'm off, I look terrible, greasy hair, spotty skin, belly like a mountain of seal blubber, so I'm going for a shower (oh yeah, I know where to get myself a nice shower seat and scales, going this week). I'll write again soon.

Love, Ali x x x x x