Sorry I haven't updated my blog in so long, I've been both depressed and busy.
First off I'm not 22 stone anymore, I'm 21 stone 3 pounds (I think, give or take a pound), but while I wasn't posting I was chatting to a few freinds on e-mail and someone sent me this. They worked out how much I was gaining and when. I thought it was really good and worth putting up here.
01-06-2005 196 lbsHowever I'm trying to loose weight now, and this is how I've done it.
15-11-2005 225 lbs a gain of 29 lbs in 168 days,
which comes to 0,17 lbs per day
25-02-2006 253 lbs a gain of 28 lbs in 102 days,
which comes to 0,27 lbs per day
18-04-2006 297 lbs a gain of 44 lbs in 52 days,
which comes to 0,85 lbs per day
01-05-2006 315 lbs a gain of 18 lbs in 13 days,
which comes to 1,38 lbs per day
10-05-2006 326 lbs a gain of 11 lbs in 9 days,
which comes to 1,22 lbs per day
I took a look at myself, I realised I'm unhappy because I'm so freakishly big and I thought about what was making me so big. Obviously the massive amounts of food I get through, but I've tried just not eating, its not that simple, I loose self control and eat anyway. So I realised that I don't get so hungry when I'm playing games, and I figured it was just that my mind's occupied with something, so I don't think about eating. But I can't play games all day, I just get bored, so I got a job.
My mum was so pleased with me for finnally getting up and doing something, especially after coming so close to becoming her size (which it turns out she was noticing :S). I don't want to mention where I'm working, the last thing I want is some local nut case who reads this to go out and try and find the fattest girl in the store called Alison :P but it's just a counter job and that's all I'm saying :D. It's really easy, I get to sit most of the day and all I have to do is scan what someone buys, press a couple of buttons on the till and take the money and give the change. I've never been great at maths but the till does it for me so that's a relief :P
I was worried I wouldn't get the job, I mean it was my first proper job interview and I was nervous and sweaty and I swear I passed gas a few dozen times :S something I tend to do after a curry :D lol. But anyway I got the job since I was the most trustworthy out of all the people they interviewed. The others, I'm told, were 2 goths, a guy who turned up drunk and some guy who would have got it but he'd been fired from his last job. I guess I was lucky on that one, but I get about 30 hours a week at £5.85 an hour (tax deductable >:X) and as a bonus I get a discount in the store.
So now I'm loaded with my own cash instead of my parents and that feels brilliant. I know probably nearly all of you make your own money, just to have the internet to be able to read this, but for me this is the first time I've ever made real money before and it feels really good.
I realised I'd not seen Sue or Sarah for a long time but I've started going out with them again. Sarah's lost weight, she's about 12 stone again now. She puts on weight really easily but she can loose it easily too, except she gets down to about 12 and it won't shift again :P but she's tiny compared with me now. Sue's still the same old Sue, but without me 'holding her back' as she put it she's been going a little wild out clubbing and slept with this guy without protection and she didn't even get his number :S and she got worried she was pregnant, but luckily she was just paranoid :P lol. And luckily she didn't catch anything either.
We've been going out for drinks again and I'm squeezing into some of my old tarty clothes :P but I'm not looking to find anyone. It's not that I don't want someone, sometimes I feel so horny I have to use a vibrator and mess up my sheets. It's just that even if I meet someone who seems really great, I can't know if he's going to dump me when he's done with me, and by then I might have feelings for him, so then I'll be upset and I'll dive for the fridge and I'll be 30 stone before you can say "fucking told you so". So I'm just going out to have fun.
Anyway that's about it, I'll update when I get the chance. And sorry to those of you who haven't had a reply, I've just been busy and not felt like writing so some of them haven't even been read, sorry :S, but e-mail me if you want. If I can I'll reply.
Hugs and XX's
Ali
4 comments:
the goth's didnt get the job, shit! i got an interview tomorrow
Oh, thank gourds- I got worried for a little while about ya.
Seems like your life is turning for the better, though. I'm glad to hear it. It's really great that you're hooking up with your friends again, and that you're getting a job and all. These things are definitely gonna make you feel a lot better overall.
One thing, though- you might get some customers who're downright mean. Don't let them get to you. Ever.
So good to hear from you again, Ali!
Wow! You got yourself a job! Are you going to grow up or what? Are you fed up with being a spoiled fat princess? :)
Anyway, congratulations on getting a grip of your life. It is your life, after all, and you need to be in charge of it. You sound a lot more confident now, and with a reason. I am with you, and am sure you will succeed in whatever you decide is your next move.
Luv, P.
Hello Alison, (is that spelled right?) I was recently doing a report on eating disorders for an English class and I think that you may have one. Not anorexia or bulimia or anything. It's a more recent disorder that not too many people know about. It's called binge-eating disorder where you just can't stop eating even if you feel full. E-mail me if you can: chocolatehuggs@hotmail.com
(please disregard the immaturity of this e-mail adress it was created when I was quite young) Anyhow, just one last thing: I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I want to help you. Please contact me.
~Elana
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