My Mum's Gone Nuts!

Oh my god! Today was so horrible! My mum was such a bitch!

I started off today like normal, I did get up a bit late at 10 but it’s a Saturday after all. I was starving hungry so I started making my eggybreads, I had 4 and then I started making pancakes. I sat down with a pile of about 15 pancakes and when I finished I was really, really, REALLY full so I sat and watched TV for a while. My mum got up at about quarter to 11 and went in the kitchen to wash up, then she came in and started having a go at me because I’d just used nearly half a litre of cooking fat on one breakfast. She said I was just too fat and too lazy and ordered me to go and get ready to go out. I was too full to move so I said no, I said I just wanted to let my breakfast go down and she got really pissed off and shouted at me to go get ready. I heaved myself up from the sofa and took a shower, but I felt really sick all the time because I’m used to resting after a large breakfast, not having a shower straight away!!

I couldn’t find many clean clothes that fit me again and mum came in and told me to put my tracksuit on and get my swimming stuff ready. I was totally shocked, I haven’t swam since about 3 summers ago and that was only in the sea for a few seconds, and she wanted to make me go swimming. I figured I’d put my swimming costume on first and put my tracksuit over it, but it was just far too tight, I couldn’t even get my thighs through the gaps without cutting off the circulation.

I complained to mum that it wouldn’t fit and she went crazy again and said we were driving to the shops to get one that fit. I had to try some on and my mum just gave me evil looks all day, and I had to settle on one that was just marked ‘child’s XXL’. I felt so embarrassed going up to the counter and buying an XXL. And I still felt stuffed and bloated.

Mum took me to the leisure centre. On the way she explained that she was sorry she snapped but all my life I’ve been lazy and greedy and she couldn’t let me carry on. She didn’t want me to end up like she is when she can hardly do anything and it’s a chore to just walk up some stairs. She said we were both going on a diet, she hadn’t decided which one but any one is bad news for me. She said she was going to take me swimming every Saturday and when she was slim enough she’d go too. And she said when I’m fit enough I’d have to go for runs!!! I seriously couldn’t believe what she was saying, my heart was pumping hard and I felt like I was going to vomit!

We got there and she paid for my ticket and went up to the spectators seats. I got changed and just sat in the changing rooms and started to cry, she was being so mean! I haven’t even run for about 2 years, the furthest I’ve walked is to the bus station and that’s under a mile. I even got a bus to go from the high street to the bus station last week and that’s a 2 minute walk. I seriously can’t just start swimming again after about 5 years of non stop gluttony!!!!

She rang my phone after about 10 minutes and heard me crying. She said she was sorry and I didn’t have to swim if I didn’t want to, but I had to start loosing weight. I said I would swim for a few minutes and went into the pool. It’s really busy on Saturdays and there was loads of people, these kids stared at me. I got in and did two laps but I felt exhausted and my stomach started to hurt, like it was cramping or something so I got out and got changed. On the way out mum made me stand on a check you weight machine and it told me I was 253 pounds, so mum realised I’ve gained 28 pounds since before Christmas. That is with my clothes on but I don’t wear 28 pounds of clothes do I? That’s actually 2 stone now I think of it! I’m no over 18 stone, that’s more than I hoped to get to by my birthday!!!!!!!!

I was totally traumatised, my mum’s actually thinking of throwing out some of the food we have in the house right now and get out the old Mr Motivator exercise video she has behind the TV!!!!

I have lots of food in my room and I’ve been binging on muffins and donuts all afternoon, my stomach started hurting hours ago but I haven’t stopped eating, even though it’s got to the point where I want to be sick! I don’t know what to do, she’s right that I’m too fat now and I honestly don’t want to be like her but I can’t seriously go without food for more than an hour and I can’t exercise, I was shaking and I’m aching all over now after just 5 minutes of swimming, imagine what a mile run would do to me???!!!

I need to think of a way to change her mind, but I can’t think of anything. Hopefully she’ll realise she’s too greedy to diet either and we might both be able to get away with it. I’ve nearly eaten all my stash now, there’s only a brownie and a twirl bar left now. I feel so sick from all the chocolate but I don’t think I’m going to stop until there’s nothing left.

Sorry to keep doing such long blogs but I couldn’t not mention this, it was so mean. I really hope she changes her mind.