Dumped :(

Hi,

I'm very pissed off today. Brett took me out to macdonalds and he started off being really nice, he brought me loads, and then he told me he was sorry but his ex wanted to get back together with him and she didn't want him even hanging around with me :(

I didn't cry or anything I just said ok, wished him good luck and he left. He txt me to say sorry afterwards while he was walking home and I am grateful he didn't dump me by text. But I eat when I'm depressed, I kept getting up for more, I wasn't paying attention like I normally would but I think I had 4 cheese burger meals with milkshakes, on top of my usual which I think you all know by now. I couldn't help it, I was sick. I had to go to the bathroom and vomit since I couldn't hold it in any more. I was out of money anyway, I came home and raided the fridge and I've been stuffing my face all day long :(

So now me Jess and Sarah are all single again, all dumped in the same week :( it's so fucked up. Jess will probably get together with her bf again I suppose, but where does it leave me? I don't want a boyfriend at the minute anyway, it's nice having all of you for now :P

Sarah's still binge eating I caught her in KFC ordering a twister, popcorn chicken and chips. I remember cuz I had the same :P

The scales at home aren't good enough any more. They only go up to 20 stone and I think they may have been giving me bad readings for the last few weeks, but they've reached the limit and won't go any higher. It's been amazing watching the reading go up and up but I have to stop. I've promised myself I'll start dieting as soon as I feel better. So probably as soon as I get a boyfriend who isn't already involved. Which is good news for you guys since that's gonna be a long time lol.

It's scary that I'm almost as big as my mum now, she's 24 stone which I've told you before. I've gained so much weight I'm visibly bigger than I was last year. None of my clothes fit from last year and I'm starting to find it a real pain in the ass to climb stairs or walk a long way.

Sue wants to go and get me laid on Friday night but I'm not sure I want to. I'm not sure I'll even manage to stop eating long enough to go out. I've been in a sort of sickly full coma since earlier at macdonalds. I don't know what I've eaten today, I wish I could say because it's more than yesterday easily. I feel sick again now I think I should throw up :(

I did vomit just now and it looks like so much food when you see it in the toilet, there's like, I don't know, well it's enough to fill the average bucket about half way and I'm still really full :$ I just can't stop eating. Why the fuck does my mum have to buy so much fucking food? You want to know what our weekly shopping bill is? An average week is about £3-400 and Christmas last year was about £1000 but our family chipped in too and there were a lot of people in. But that doesn't cout the takeaways I have that's another, er, maybe £70 a week. And I usually have someone treat me to things too so it's no wonder there's a never-ending supply of food.

I'm going to go now, I don't really have much else to say. I might be online this Sunday at about midnight so I might chat to some of you then. Remember I mean midnight gmt so you'll have to work it out ;)

Bubi for now

Ali